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Tuesday, November 1, 2011


When you see a message pop up from a guy who calls himself "sexlover235," you know you're in for a treat! (Or rather, in trying to stay in the Halloween spirit as long as possible, a trick!) So when I received the following message, I was definitely intrigued:

I was curious to learn a little more about Mr. Lover, and his thumbnail image had me a little curious. So I clicked to see his profile, and lo and behold...Mr. Lover is OLD!

...and apparently very good at oral sex.

And WAY too old to say "lol."

Now I like my men like I like my... (C'mon Mel, think of something extremely witty to say here! Ah, screw it, I'm not really that clever.)
...jokes - immature. If you are more likely to fart when trying to get off the couch than to tell a good fart joke, I'm just not interested. I like my wine and cheese aged nicely. But my men usually cap out at age 36, and that's pushing it quite a bit. So needless to say, I never wrote Sexlover235 back.

But still, 20 days later...

Good grief!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Seeking Sugar Daddy

Occasionally I like to search for new dating sites I can join, and today I discovered my new favorite:

SeekingArrangement: The #1 Sugar Daddy Dating Site

Now, you may be wondering what a sugar baby is, so allow me to define a few terms for you:

Sugar Daddy: The modern sugar daddy is a successful and generous man who is willing to pamper and offer financial help or gifts to a young person in return for friendship and companionship.

Sugar Mommy: The modern sugar mommy or sugar momma is a successful and generous woman who is willing to pamper and offer financial help or gifts to a young person in return for friendship and companionship.

Sugar Baby: A sugar baby is an attractive, ambitious and goal oriented individual who has a lot to offer. He or she is generally younger and is looking to meet wealthy, successful and generous people who are willing to pamper and offer financial assistance or gifts in return for their friendship or companionship.

Sugar Mommies and Daddies do have to pay to use the site (after a free trial period), but as a Sugar Baby, all I have to do is fill out my profile accurately and upload at least one approved picture, and I get to use the site for free! Pretty sweet! (Pun not intended, but I like it so maybe I should claim it was intended after all...)

Hmm, I'm definitely intrigued. Is this site any good? Could I really find me a sugar daddy? Let's see some member testimonials...

Okay, I'm sold. Sign me up!

Damn. SeekingArrangements doesn't serve my area! But shout outs to my friends in these areas - YOU can search for a Sugar Daddy or Mommy...if you're looking for a Sugar Baby though, why don't you just fly on out to South Carolina and I'll be your Sugar Baby!

Sugar Daddy is currently an English only website, but will soon be translated into other languages. We boast thousands of sugar daddy, sugar mommy and sugar baby members from all corners of the world, including the following countries, cities, and locations:

United States: East Coast — New York (NYC, Albany, Buffalo, NY), Massachusetts (Boston MA), Maine (Portland ME), New Hampshire, Pennslyvania (Philadelphia, Pittsburgh), North Carolina (Raleigh, Charlotte NC), South Carolina (SC), New Jersey (NJ), Rhode Island (Providence RI); West Coast — Washington (Seattle, Tacoma WA), Oregon (Portland OR), California (San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, Orange County, Sacramento CA), Arizona (Phoenix, Tucson AZ), Nevada (Las Vegas, Reno NV); East — Maryland (Baltimore MD), Virginia (Charlottesville, Richmond VA), Washington DC; West — Colorado (Denver CO), Hawaii (Honolulu HI), Montana (MT), North Dakota (ND), South Dakota (SD); Midwest — Georgia (Atlanta GA), Missouri (Jefferson City MO), Kentucky (Lexington KY), Michigan (Detroit, Ann Harbor MI), Minnesota (Minneapolis St Paul MN); South — Texas (Houston, Austin, Dallas TX), Louisiana (New Orleans, Baton Rouge LA), Alabama (AL), Tenessee (Memphis, Nashville TN), Florida (Miami, Orlando, Tampa FL);

Canada: Ontario (Toronto ON)

United Kingdom: Great Britain, London UK, Aberdeen, Bath, Belfast, Birmingham, Brighton, Bristol, Cambridge, Cardiff / Wales, Coventry, Derby, Devon & Cornwall, Dundee, East Anglia, East Midlands, Edinburgh, Essex, Glasgow, Kent, Leeds, Liverpool, Manchester, Newcastle, Nottingham, Oxford, Sheffield

Australia: Adelaide, Brisbane, Canberra, Darwin, Hobart, Melbourne, Perth, Sydney

Other Countries: Germany, Switzerland, Netherlands, Sweden, Ireland, etc.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

How to ensure you never get laid

Step 1:
Start with a ridiculous photo, filled with bright colors (neon makeup makes it even better) and v-necks. It's called peacocking, it makes you stand out and makes girls think you're a total weirdo. Bonus points if your BFF is showing chest hair.

Step 2:
Talk about another girl and how she thinks you have...something...that's sexy. Oh yeah, and talk about other ridiculous stuff that makes no sense.

Step 3:
Mention your disabled penis, and continue making no sense.

Step 4:
Make some totally non-ironic comment about peeing the bed in your 20s. None of the other ramblings you write after that to fill a profile-length quota will matter, because no one will read it.

Step 6:
Advertise to your target audience: girls with VD.

Step 7:
Click "post" and wait for the emails to come pouring in.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Guest Post - 5 Major Mistakes you Can Make With Online Dating

A note from Mel:
A slight departure from my usual material, but when someone hands you a guest post on a silver platter, you take it and run with it! Besides, this is likely the only useful post you will find on this site...

5 Major Mistakes you Can Make With Online Dating

Online dating is a minefield which can be exciting, weird, and also a little scary at times. Certain types of people need to be avoided at all costs, while other good matches might not pop onto your radar at all. Doing this properly involves setting up your profile in a certain way, having contact only with the right types of members, and avoiding face-to-face meetings that may be cringeworthy. Here is some advice that can help you avoid the serious dating disasters that Melanie from loves to write about...

Presenting Pictures that Don't Represent What You Look Like
The first thing anyone will notice about your online profile is your picture. It needs to capture the attention of other singles, but also present you in the in the right way. It is important to upload a set of images that shows you as you really are. You main profile picture needs to make you look good in order to strike up some interest. While, the rest of your pictures should accurately show what your face and body really look like. Your pictures might show a range of activities that you enjoy. Like playing sports or an instrument, or hanging out with your group of friends. The blog on states that members who had a profile picture which showed them engaging in a hobby like playing guitar made them twice as likely to be contacted. Poor picture selection can also lead to problems when you are getting ready to meet up. If the person you are meeting doesn't have an accurate idea of who you are, they might feel deceived. This can start the whole thing on the wrong foot and turn any potential romance into a dud.

Not Telling the Truth on Your Online Profile
A common problem with online dating is that people might not be honest. From pictures, to employment, people will lie about all kinds of things on these sites. The anonymity of the internet makes certain people feel as though they can get away with not telling the truth and avoid paying any consequences for it. Avoiding these people is essential to be successful in online dating. You only have to be deceived once to be jaded to the whole experience. Being honest is extremely necessary if you are hoping to make any serious connections.

Getting Obsessed with The 1st Person You Contact
The main thing that makes online dating fun is the sheer number of single people you can have contact with. There are so many types of people that you can meet, so why should you get attached to the first one you email? You should be contacting "alot" of people. This can help you get a feel for what is available and what interests you. Chat with these people for a little while, before you start up a phone conversation. It may take more than just one or two emails to get a feel for who is on the other end. Get to know them before you make real world contact.

Having a Long First Face-To-Face Meeting
The biggest blunder in online dating is setting up a long date the first time you meet up. People that have more experience with this understand why it can be important to have a quick meeting, before you commit to a longer engagement. Connecting with someone through email doesn't give you a proper feel for who they are as a person. Two complicated personalities may fit together fine in an email conversation, but might not click in face to face meeting. Setting a short 15 minute meetup for coffee or an activity of a similar time frame is perfect. This gives you time to see the person as they really are, but doesn't commit you to anything more. If something doesn't feel right to you, you can easily move on to the next person.

James runs the site Chat Rooms Online which provides dating advice, chat, a forum, and games. Plans for the future involve growing a community around the site and creating a facebook app.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

y u bs me?

Not all that long ago, I posted about a guy who just couldn't take the hint. Well, he STILL can't take the hint. And now he's getting pissy.

I didn't even bother to blur his identifying information this time, because he CLEARLY wants his name and number known. WTF dude, y u no know how to spell?

I need some advice: Do I just ignore him YET AGAIN and hope he will just get the hint (or more likely, provide me with more blog fodder), or do I go off and tell him exactly why i bs him?


No thanks. I already have enough friends. Friends who actually live near enough to go out for drinks and know how to properly utilize capital letters....well, most of them.

New posts coming SOON...

...I promise!
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